What is the menu for your last meal ever?
When I started planning this post, I realized that it would be different depending on the circumstance.
- Was I on death row, for some reason, and I would be dead at the end?
- Was I deciding to become Breatharian, and live as long as I could on light and air alone?
- Did I just learn that I would have to have my stomach removed and I would be fed from a G-tube forever?
- Was I trying to escape from some evil organization and food was my way out?
- Am I just suicidal and want to die happy for one moment? (Note: I am not suicidal nor could I ever kill myself)
The reason for this is, some food can kill me. Literally. For example, I could die if I eat peanut butter, turkey, or soy. So if I am trying to kill myself, I would have one meal. BUT, if I was trying to live afterwards, I would want a different meal.
Here are the two menus.
Menu 1: I want to live
I would have homemade BBQ sauce on slow cooked chicken. Or maybe a nice slow cooked roast. Or maybe both. My favorite veggies are broccoli and sweet carrots, southern style, so I would of course have those. My homemade macaroni and cheese is a must! And homemade gluten-free biscuits. Not shown: I would also have mashed sweet potatoes with gravy flowing over them that I would dip my biscuit in before eating. Oh man, I can almost taste the BBQ sauce just thinking about it.
Menu 2: All caution to the wind! Here I come sweet release of death!
The second menu doesn’t have a picture because I would die if I tried making it. Instead here is a clip art of a sandwich.
If I were planning on dying, food really wouldn’t be that option because dying of anaphylaxis or slowly suffocating to death would be on my list of ways I don’t ever want to die. But, pretending that my life turns into a horrible movie and death by sandwich looks like the only option out my menu would be…
One, maybe two, bites of a turkey sandwich. My sandwich would have wheat bread, mayonnaise made with soybean oil, raw tomato, turkey slices, american cheese, and mustard. It would have to be made by someone else because I would start gasping for air before I ever got to take the first bite if I tried making it myself.
I say “one, maybe two, bites” because it doesn’t take long to start gasping for air when I touch turkey. Without an epi-pen, I would suffocate to death not long into my loaf of loathing and my nightmare inducing situation would probably end with my body being dumped on a jogging trail somewhere.
And trust me when I say this part… if my body is found on a jogging trail, I was killed and dumped there!