I was thinking about this today and thought I would post about it – so this is going to ramble a bit.
At my largest weight, I weighed 300+ pounds. I say “300+” because I had stopped weighing myself when the scale said 301. My pants were size 28…. and then those didn’t fit. I bought elastic waist pants because I didn’t want to see the waist number growing. For awhile, I wore a denim pink dress and a couple other tent-like outfits because I could not fit in my clothes anymore. Honestly, I hated myself at this point.
Then I stopped birth control (depoprevara – I gained 60 pounds in 2 months) and the weight SLOWLY started coming off. I remember when I could fit in my size 28 pants again. I was thrilled. I never thought I would be thrilled to be a size 28. LOL
And over the years my weight went up and down. In 2010, I found out all the foods I am allergic to and stopped eating them. I dropped the weight – like it fell off!
I ended up getting down to 193.6 before the jerk doctor in K-town decided to give me steroid shots. I BALLOONED! I hit 250 (or 257 – I can’t remember) and I cried. I had worked so hard to better myself only to have one asshole totally erase that in one poor decision backed by bureaucracy. I hate work comp and that doctor for that to this day.
Now, the weight is coming off again. My only struggle now is that I am never hungry. I even waited until I got hungry to eat. After DAYS, the dizziness set in and I ate even though I wasn’t hungry. I still haven’t felt hunger. I have to remember to eat. I forget some days. I stick to my old dietitian’s and nutritionist’s standards for calories.
My first thing is – get over 1000 calories a day (I was getting 548 cal a day avg when I saw her)! Or at least try. After that, I aim for between 1200 and 2000 a day. They wanted us to try for between 1500-1800 as a generic but, I would be fucking thrilled to hit 1000 calories a day for a month straight.
As for my weight, according to one place, my recommended weight is between 125 and 169. If I was at the lower end of that, I would look anorexic. MY goal (and most doctors are cool with this) is to get somewhere between 150 and 170.
When I weighed 173, I was quite happy with how I looked, how I felt, my body, etc. I wasn’t SKINNY but I wasn’t fat either. I was just right and I want to get to that again.
It will happen. I know it will. I just have to be patient and diligent… and remember to eat.